Do you ever feel triggered by or overreact to your child’s behaviour? While we cannot pinpoint precisely why we feel so angry over seemingly trivial things that our children say or do, our emotions are nonetheless intense.
As parents, we always have our own agenda and schedules to adhere to, while our child’s meltdown is definitely not a part of it. We might also think our children’s behaviours directly reflect our way of parenting, which could affect other’s perceptions of us, thereby increasing the magnitude of our reaction. Sometimes, we also do not realize that their “misbehaviours” could be another way of communication.
When we understand why our triggers occur, we can take steps to deal with them. This will allow us to respond more calmly and respectfully. So, what can we do about it?
💚 Put yourself in their shoes by empathizing their feelings and understanding their behavioural patterns
💚 Look at your child’s behaviour as disinterested parties. Being authoritative or talking in a condescending manner might not always be the best approach
💚 Take their “misbehaviours” as a way of communication and answer what they are telling you. E.g., “You’re showing me how furious you are by throwing things on the floor. I see you’re very angry. I’m sorry this is so hard. Try and tell me in words and I will listen and help make this better.”
💚 By building a strong self-image about you as a good parent, you are less likely to get triggered as you believe you have already done your best in educating and nurturing your children
💚 Try to self-regulate before jumping into regulating your child
Reference: Healing Hearts, Beth Richey Counseling